Couples Counseling
Both our greatest joys and darkest moments involve those who are closest to us. Our partners have the capacity to bring out the very best and the very worst in us. They can be a source of security, support, and deep connection…or pain, anxiety, and crippling loneliness. When relationships break down, we can feel as though our entire world is crumbling.
Our culture typically doesn’t make space to talk through the natural ebbs and flows in intimate relationships, so most people aren’t well equipped when connection ruptures. Couples counseling provides a safe space to navigate this tricky terrain.
I have deep respect for the complexity of relationships and the uniqueness of my clients. I believe that most issues driving wedges between people are natural, understandable, and able to be resolved through counseling when clients come ready to do hard work.
During sessions, I help clients transform defensiveness, criticism and isolation into openness, intimacy, and connection. I provide a safe space to explore and express feelings and desires and I teach skills proven to improve communication and strengthen connection.
Two Important Notes: Because this work intentionally shifts engrained, unhelpful patterns, it can be dysregulating. I strongly advise every client to engage the support of an individual therapist while they are in the process of couples counseling.
While I believe in the power of committed relationships, there are times when they become so destructive that they should end in their current forms. If this becomes true for you, then I will support you in discussing options and managing difficult decisions and transitions.
Phase 1: Assessment
- Session 1: Initial Session
In the 80-minute initial intake session we explore the history of the relationship, how you have navigated big decisions together, current relationship strengths and challenges, and goals for therapy.
- Session 2 + 3: Individual Meetings
Each partner then meets with me individually for a 50-minute session, which allows you the opportunity to share more about how your family of origin an prior relationships influence your current dynamics. These sessions also create space for each person to freely share their perspectives on the relationship and name what is hard to talk about with their partner.
- Session 4: Feedback Session & Movement into Phase II
In this 50-minute feedback session with both partners, I reflect back your primary strengths, challenges, and goals for therapy and then recommend a path forward, including the recommended frequency of sessions.
Phase 2: Intervention
This phase – which typically lasts a few months with weekly or bi-weekly sessions– is grounded in the Gottman Method and includes supplemental modalities as needed. Depending on clients’ presenting needs and goals, interventions may include the following:
- Betrayal repair and rebuilding trust
- Navigating perpetual problems and conflict
- Creating healthy patterns of communication and emotional expression
- Establishing rituals of connection
Phase 3: Maintenance
The total length of therapy varies significantly, depending on each partnership. Most clients move into a maintenance phase after a few months, during which we meet with less frequency. This phase focuses on maintaining and building on progress made through interventions. It continues with less and less frequency until couples feel ready to continue the work on their own, without therapeutic support.